Well, last week I had my fourth treatment. I am oficially one third of the way done! Hooray! It's time again for pulmonary function tests to make sure the chemo is not affecting my lungs too much.
I am finally bald. My hair started falling out after my second treatment. Strand by strand, not too bad. After my third treatment it started coming out in handfuls. It was disgusting...hair everywhere...in my food while I was eating, EVERYWHERE. Sooooo... I decided to just go ahead and shave it off. It's gone!
I have worn my wig to work...but really nowhere else. It's not that comfy. I've worn scarves and hats with my "hat hair" which is kind of like half a wig so you can wear hats comfortably. But mostly, once I get home I am just bald.
Everyone is fine with it. I had explained it to Lucas before it happened and he even went with me when I got my head shaved. It was no big deal to him. Mark is used to it...I think he even thinks it is weird to see me with my wig on because he is used to me not having hair!
Before it happened it was the worst thing I could imagine. I cried all the way to my mom's house on the Sunday morning I was having it shaved. I cried in the chair before Wade shaved it. But once he started, it was OKAY...and by the time he was done I was fine. It was much worse imagining it happening than the reality. So, I'm bald. So what. It's not like it's a haircut that went bad...it's not like I shaved my head because I thought it would be cool and then ended up looking really bad as a bald chic. I have cancer...chemo has made my hair fall out. Oh well. Not much I can do about it other than accept and go on with life. I'm bald...I'm fine. It's no big deal really. Now, don't get me wrong. I am not running all over town bare-headed. I'm covering it up because I am more comfortable that way...but nonetheless, I am fine with it! When you see pictures of cancer patients you think you could never survive...that losing your hair would be the end of you. I PROMISE YOU IF IT EVER HAPPENS IT WILL NOT...YOU WILL BE FINE!
The first day in my wig Lucas and I went to McDonald's. I kept looking around to see if people were staring at me or looking at me and then touching their hair. They didn't. I don't think people know it's a wig at all. I've actually gotten compliments from people who don't know that I have cancer.
I've been feeling okay. My normal state is TIRED, that's how it's going to be. The bone pain continues, but I'm better at managing the pain. I'm working fairly normal hours and being productive. Life continues to be good. I have good days and bad days...I am exhausted by the end of every day and cannot wait to go to bed, but who isn't? LOL I try to stay positive and live my life as I normally would... just at a slower pace most of the time.
Lately A LOT, and I mean A LOT of people have been telling me that I look really good, that I am glowing. I think this is because the medicine is working and a lot of the cancer is gone. I imagine that my color probably wasn't good before and we didn't even realize it. I had to have had cancer for quite some time based on the itching I had for two years prior to my diagnosis and due to the number of infected lymph nodes.
It's baseball season here in SWFL. Mark is coaching Lucas' team again, we are The Cubs! We have a great group of kids and parents which makes it even more fun than usual!!
I bought a new car this week. Nothing fancy. Got a Kia Optima EX. Love it!
I am loving my new role at Gartner. I work with a great group of people and enjoy going to work again!
We have company coming the 15th-18th! Can't wait to see the Davidson Family!! I have chemo this week so I hope I am feeling up to hanging with them...I'll do my best! Going to be different than our normal spring visits with them...but still tons of fun! We might manage to squeeze a trip up to Orlando to see them again before they go back to IL. Grandma with the White Dog is then coming the 21st. She will get lots of good Grandma time in as she is going to babysit while Lucas is on spring break so we can go to work as normal! They are both going to love having all those days together to have fun!!
I am still thankful for all the friends and family who have been sending well-wishes, cards, letters, little care packages. You must all know that I realize how blessed I am to have you all in my life. When this episode is said and done I will defintely spend the rest of my healthy life paying it all forward!